Why does emotional intelligence matter?

Passion, joy, enthusiasm, hope, empathy, purpose, and inspiration are all emotional states we would agree are critical to our happiness and drive positive action. The less agreeable truth is that fear, anger, grief, and frustration are all necessary, too.

Our emotions themselves aren’t “good” or “bad”, it’s the stories we tell ourselves and the choices we make based on how we experience those emotions that determine the quality of our life.

Even in a life we love, we have times when we have too much on our plate (even good stuff!), feel overwhelmed by decision-fatigue, become risk-averse, dissatisfied, or just totally spent.  Maybe we’re in a period of destabilizing transition, fear or grief.

In these very human moments of discomfort, our emotional intelligence stands ready to be our greatest asset in the inevitable ups and downs of life and the source of our resilience.

If we had practices we trusted to bring comfort and stability, we would be willing to pause, pay attention, remember no feeling is permanent, and make the next right choice that reflects what we value.

But we don’t. Instead of allowing those big feelings to move through us, our minds fill with the messages received from every direction; a life without obstacles and heartache is just around the corner if we try hard enough. If anything feels “off”, we must be doing it wrong. Cue the “shoulds.”

We’re problem-solvers. So with our tender hearts and flooded minds, we seek an external fix and keep our focus on an ideal and elusive stress-free version of ourselves. We’re smart and capable but this rarely works.  Why?

Because the feelings we’re trying to manage our way out of aren’t accessed through our minds, they originate in our bodies. And we need them – they hold the wisdom we’re searching for.  

We have to feel it to heal it.

We can’t actually avoid complex emotion – it’s what makes us human – and the first step to increasing our emotional intelligence is building greater awareness of our feelings and patterns. Which means we have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

Fortunately, there are proven practices that consistently shift you out of a focus on “fixing” and into a deep self-trust that transforms the way you experience your life.

• emotional intelligence education
• restorative and therapeutic yoga
• gentle breathwork
• simple guided meditation
• writing to heal/personal narrative work

Rest, breath, presence, and reflection are powerful tools that we carry with us at all times – we just need to pause and apply them. And research proves that supportive habits are more durable in community…

let’s practice together.

XO tiff

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